It is a little known fact that missionaries are world class losers. I think I had better clarify that before a mob of angry missionaries starts throwing bananas at me. I do not mean that they are not winners. All the missionaries I know are great people. (Really, guys!) I say they are losers because they lose things. I am not trying to say that they lose things any more than your average person does. I mean when they lose something it could be anywhere in the world. They are world class losers. For example: An office chair of ours was shipped from our tribal location to Manila. When we went to pick it up, we couldn’t find it. After a few weeks of looking for the lost chair we sent out an email asking if anyone had seen it. Right away responses started coming in: someone in Palawan said they hadn’t seen it there. A kind person in Colorado said that it wasn’t there either. A guy in Portland, Oregon said he saw some kids using it to climb up to the water fountain, and a retired missionary in Port Angeles, Washington said that an office chair matching the description of ours mysteriously showed up in the lobby of her retirement center a week ago.
You see what I mean, at least I’m world class at something.

We were in the habit of using a taxi every time we went in search of alien fingerprint ink, but the person in charge of aliens for our mission wanted to give us a bit of excitement. We were actually happy about this. We had heard about going on pleasure cruises and were happy that our turn had finally come. Besides, the price was only 65 cents each. Not a bad price for a cruise on the beautiful Pasig river.
Like most pleasure cruises, there were various ports of call and we enjoyed passing other boats along the way.
The most outstanding thing about the river cruise was that the last stop was only one block from the immigration office. We were tempted to take pictures of aliens being fingerprinted but didn’t dare. The people there are very strict with aliens and we wouldn’t want to be kicked out of the country.
After we had given away every single finger print we had we headed to the street to find a way home. On the way we decided to try some earth food. It was deep fried bananas covered in brown sugar. Earthlings sure do have strange tastes. The bananas were delicious, but with all the signing forms, traveling, and fingerprinting, I can see why many aliens prefer to make quick exits.
As you walk around the city you will see pink lines on the sidewalks. These lines run under vehicles, around telephone polls and along long stretches of sidewalk. If you follow them long enough, you will come to a men's bathroom. Just thought you might want to know. Sorry ladies, I guess the city budget wasn't big enough or they ran out of blue paint.